im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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