i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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