My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it was like eating out sand paper
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
