spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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