I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Blood and glitter go together right?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
