They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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