I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
