Do you still have your period?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
