sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
