you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
