I want to make a zoo with you.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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