There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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