is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
