Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize