After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize