Dual....:-)
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
