good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
