When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
