I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
