I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
