I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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