If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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