My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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