i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
