Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
