Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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