We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
