just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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