Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
