She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
