I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
