Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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