Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
