4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
