and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
These tits shall not be calmed
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize