Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize