HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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