just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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