return my video game
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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