pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
