At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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