just come out here and I will go home with you...
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
