You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
