An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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