I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
