nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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