i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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