he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
