I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
