come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
