Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
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We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
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I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.