are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.