we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
