forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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