i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
