My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
we're so committed to being not committed
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
