If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
