Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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