No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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