It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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