Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
