I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
