Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
