You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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