i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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