yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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